


i don't deserve it, but darling you look perfect tonight

by vvalormorghouliss



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, some form of ptsd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 09:39:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12430065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vvalormorghouliss/pseuds/vvalormorghouliss
Summary: my first fic! some arya/gendry angst and some stark family love!





	i don't deserve it, but darling you look perfect tonight

**Author's Note:**

> written for the prompt "who hurt you?"

She ran through the godswood, breathing ragged. She shouldn't have reacted the way she did. All Gendry had done was swing the sword, whirl it around with his stupid little smirk and a laugh that made her chest tighten. He had walked towards Sansa, the sword still in hand, the smile still on his face, and all Arya was thinking was nonono,not Sansa not again, not my sister and without even thinking, without even breathing, Needle was in her hand and Gendry was under her and she was in the position to slit his neck open, to carve a hole through him.

She was about to put her blade through his heart and keep her family alive because they could never be seperated, not again. It was then that she realized that the hall had gone silent and Sansa was beside her and and Jon behind her, and all she could see was the dark blue pits that made up Gendry Waters' eyes, confused and scared but mostly worried. 

It was the "Arya?" whispered from his lips that broke her.

Arya had sprung up, and bolted through the doors, through the passages she'd memorized as a girl, and into the wolf wood, swifter then a deer and a lot less calm then still water.

She found a strong old tree, and climbed it, settling in with every intention to spend the night in its branches, not worrying about the possibility of loosing a finger to frostbite or the possibility of her brother and sister frantically searching for her.

She certainly did not consider the guilt that would start eating away at the blacksmith of Winterfell, until he couldn't take anymore, and went to the forge and started beating at whatever he could.

That was where Jon Snow found him, tears hiding behind his eyes and sweat dripping down his back

***  
"Gendry? May I come in?" He caught a look at the King in the North as he stood in the doorway of the smithy.  
Gendry nodded his head and turned away from his hammer to look at Jon. Worry creased his face, his face flushed from the cold of the night air. He must've been looking for her.  
"We can't find Arya, Gendry," Jon sighed, rubbing his eyes and sitting down. He looked defeated, Gendry noted. How awful it must feel, to be reunited with someone just to lose them again.  
"Is there anything you can think of, where she might be, who she might've gone to?" Jon asked.

"With respect, Your Grace, why ask me?" Gendry looked down at his hammer once again. Sure, he had know Arya when they were children, and he'll even admit to himself that the way his heart quickens when she comes near isn't because he's excited to spar with her, but he still didn't understand why Jon was asking him.

Jon gave him a bemused look. "I see the way you two look at each other, and I'm sure you don't just go up to her room to polish her shoes."

Gendry snorted at that. Truly, all they did was sleep in the same bed, but it made him happy to know that Arya trusted him enough-or she had- to be in a vulnerable position with him around. It was a comfort for him too, something to wake up to from the nightmares. Gendry sensed the same could be said for Arya.  
"I don't know... the crypts? You know her Jon, she'll stay hidden for as long as she wants to."

Jon frowned. "Would you mind trying to convince her to come home?"

***

Arya quietly rearranged herself on the branch, sitting in such a way the tree concealed her from every angle. She felt even worse now. Jon and Sansa were in the forest for ages looking for her, and she didn't once let them know where she was. She really wasn't sure why. Sansa had endured more in her life then Arya would ever understand, and in her heart, she knew that Sansa wouldn't disown her for what she had done. And Jon, Jon Snow, her brother. He had always been there for her, he had given her Needle, which was the best gift she could've gotten. She knew that Jon would stay out looking for her much longer than he should, and Sansa would have to coax him back to the castle. Although Arya thought, I'm sure they're up right now, waiting for me to come back.

She shuddered. It was odd though, what had happened. While Jon and Sansa were searching, Ghost had found her. Arya wasn't surprised, not really, and she was sure the direwolf was going to run back to Jon and expose her.  
But he didn't.  
Instead, he had looked at her, then turned his head to the smoke that could only be coming out of the forge. Then he ran off.  
Arya shook her head and turned back around. She wouldn't be sleeping, she was too on edge, and instead turned around with Needle in her hand.

***

In the wolfswood , in the dead of night, Gendry carefully followed the path left by Arya in the snow. On his back was a pack of food and water and an extra cloak for her, because he knew that as much as she loved the north and the cold weather of Winterfell, she still had cold feet when she wasn't properly covered. "Arya?" he called out cautiously, " are you there?"

The wind answered him.

"Come on, Arya. We're all worried, no one blames you." This much was true. Gendry wasn't blind, he knew something had happened in the 6 years that they were apart, something that made her more distant, more jumpy, more spooked to be around him. Although their reunion had been a happy one, she had always put off telling him her story, insisting it wasn't the right time, and instead forcing him to the story of how he ended up in Winterfell.

He sat beneath a tree, and began to hum:  
For you shall be my lady love,  
and I shall be your lord.  
I'll always keep you warm and safe,  
and guard you with my sword.

The song had always made him think of her, probably because it was often sung by the Brotherhood Without Banners during the time that they had traveled in it.

After a while under that particular tree, Gendry got up and continued walking through the snow. He started to check all the caves and crevices in which she might be hiding, cursing every time he found them empty.

As his worry began to set in, that maybe she had run away for good, and maybe the she-wolf had left him, as he had once left her, he heard a faint melody above him.

"I'll wear a gown of golden leaves,  
and bind my hair with grass,  
But you can be my forest love,  
and me your forest lass."

He looked up and laughed out loud. there she was, the little wolf perched directly above him, tear stains on her cheeks and a half laugh half sob emerging from her mouth. She scurried down and fell into his arms. He wrapped her in the extra cloak and carried her gently back to the castle.

She was asleep by the time they reached her chamber, so Gendry layed her on the bed and wrapped the blankets around her. He kissed her forehead gently and left the room in search for the other Starks.

He found them in Lady Sansa's solar, anxiously gathered around a table, a jug of ale in between them. Jon looked up as he entered.  
"So?" the king asked, his lady sister beside him.

"She's asleep in her chambers," Gendry answered. Sansa smiled, and Jon let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Gendry," Jon said as he stood up and started towards the door. Sansa stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and a knowing look on her face. Jon looked like he was going to argue but then decided against it. 

"You may go, Gendry. Thank you again," Sansa smiled at him with a raised eyebrow.  
He stumbled out a quick goodbye and started back towards Arya's room.

*** 

Arya stirred from her sleep. Somehow she had ended up back at home, under a mountain furs, Needle still strapped to her hip. There was a prominent empty space beside her, the cold air sinking into her heart. She rolled over, painfully aware of the fact that she was alone. But she wasn't.

There he was, Gendry, sitting in the uncomfortable wooden chair beside her bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with that ridiculous smirk on his face again, and she felt her heart skip a beat.

"I'm surprised your awake, milady," he laughed, and she couldn't help but let a little smile of her own escape.

She was waiting for it, the blow, the accusation for almost killing him, killing Gendry, and the thought of it made her so upset that instead of having a witty comeback, she burst into tears.

Arya was prepared for him to leave, to yell at her, to stab her with a dagger and leave her to bleed to death on the floor. What she wasn't prepared was for him to sit down next to her on the bed and wrap his strong arms around her. She wasn't prepared for him to rest his head on her chin and whisper into her ear, "Its ok, I'm here Arya, I’m not leaving."  
It took her a while to recompose herself, to pull her head from his chest and pull her hair from his hands, to sniffle and wipe her nose on her sleeve.

"Forgive me if it's too soon, but what happened? Who hurt you?" Gendry asked quietly, "Was it me?"He looked down at his feet.

"Look at me," Arya said, and she saw the uncertainty forming in the depths of his eyes, tasted the tears still coming down her face, and then

She kissed him

She had never kissed anyone before, but it felt so right, their lips fitted together. She kissed him hard, to remind him that however many ghosts haunted her and plagued her sleep, he was NOT one of them. Gendry Waters was her family, and she was damn sure he was going to remember that.

She pulled away first and looked him again. Uncertainty still lurked in his eyes, but it was less now, more trusting and less broken.

"Can I tell you now? My story?" she asked quietly, looking up at him. Gendry nodded, surrounded her small hand with his bigger one, and looked at her.

She told all of it, in alarming detail, telling it how it happened and not how she told it to Sansa or to Jon, to make them feel less guilty. She told him about all the various times she could've died but didn't, every single time she told the god of death not today. She told him about her time in Bravos and how she thought of him, and then what had happened in the house of black and white, and how that coin for J'aquen had proven useful after all. Arya Stark told her story as it was, not how it should've been, how that story had made her grown from a pup into a dire wolf so much faster than she should have.

By the time she was done, the sun was rising and Gendry was staring into his lap, his foot tapping something fierce. Finally, he looked at her, and with anger and sorrow and pride in his eyes, he whispered "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry". She stood up and pulled Gendry up with her, and Arya wrapped her arms around his neck, swaying ever so slightly. She stood and held him up as much as held her, and for once, the silence was welcome.

***

Gendry looked at the girl in front of him and wondered how she survived it. There was no doubt in his mind he would've been dead in her shoes.

Arya yawned, laying her head against his chest. "I'm sorry I've been jumpy," she mumbled, "trusting is still hard after my adventures." She yawned again. "But at least I've got you."

Gendrys heart swelled. "Don't you ever apologize," he told her fiercely, suddenly protective.

She yawned for the 3rd time and mumbled something incoherent, burying her face into him.

Gendry chuckled. "How about we get you to sleep, little wolf?" Arya nodded, stripped down to her small clothes, climbed into bed and reached out for him. He followed suit, and wrapped an arm around her middle, pulling her close to him. Arya sighed, content, and snuggled up against him.

When he thought she had finally drifted to sleep, he whispered into her hair, "I love you, Arya Stark."

The last thing he expected to hear was a faint "love you too 'endey" muffled by the way Arya was laying.

Gendry smiled, and finally slept.

*** 

That was where Sansa found them the next morning, still sleeping but jammed as close to each other as possible.

Lady Stark grinned, shaking her head as she left her sisters room.

 

**Author's Note:**

> title from ed sheerans "perfect"  
> i apologize for the capitalization! also there were supposed to be italics in this but i didn't work out  
> hope you enjoyed!


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